Philosophy

The marriage interview was conducted on a couple that lives in my neighborhood and requested to remain anonymous while committing complete sincerity to the exercise. The purpose of the marriage interview was to explore the manner in which a couple runs into complications and to comprehend how underlying causes contribute to changes in the relationship while exploring the concepts of psychology that apply to the case. The interview was conducted by making the participating couple sit on a wide sofa in a comfortable sitting room. The couple had been married for almost nine years now and both the husband and the wife were in their mid thirties.

The interview began by asking each of them about the qualities that they had always desired in hisher spouse (Feldman, 1996). It was observed that both of them were in unanimous agreement about wanting commitment, honesty, affection, reliability and intimacy from each other. However, the unity in the answers came forth as short-lived when each was asked how long heshe had expected it to last when they got married. In this case, the wife expressed doubts about how long the marriage was going to last while the husband sat in a bit of awe to the response of the wife. When asked why she was doubtful, she replied that she had always been a little scared of marriage and the extensive commitment it entailed.

The couple has two children and the next question inquired upon was whether or not having children had put strain on their marriage. It was observed that the husband considered some strain to have dawned on the marriage while the wife held a positive outlook about the children and their implications on the marriage.

The couple was then asked about the part of their marriage that they appreciate the most. The husband and the wife were somewhat romantic in response to this question as the wife mentioned the warmth her husbands arms and the husband mentioned her beautiful smile that gave him a reason to struggle in his life. It was evident that whatever the reasons, the setup allowed them to maintain considerable affection towards each other.

The couple was also asked about how they handle problems and arguments. It was observed that there was a bit of a conflict between them in this regard since the husband stated that he usually apologizes no matter whose mistake it is while the wife stated that she generally chooses to forget everything that happened and take him back.

The couple was asked about their perception of a typical marriage. They replied that a typical marriage in these times has mutated into a form where it is more a resort and less of a marriage. They were unanimous in the denouncing of the increasing frequency of divorce and stated that they considered such marriages to be of no use and that couples who think that there are chances for divorce within a few years of their marriage should not get married to begin with. It was evident that the areas they disagreed on served to strengthen the relationship between the couple (Booth, Crouter,  Clements, 2001).

In order to probe further, the couple was asked to consider a hypothetical situation in which they had divorced. They were asked to determine what they would lose in case a divorce took place under such a worst case scenario. The husband and the wife looked stricken with shock at the very question and refused to answer the question, requesting that I move on to the next question. It was inferred from this particular response that the couple, under unanimous consent, chooses to remain in a self-induced state of denial about the possibilities of divorce.

The husband and the wife both expressed a fear of the family and friends of their spouse. Both expressed that they held a strong desire to be acknowledged by their spouses family and friends when they had begun their relationship. The desire to be accepted was observed to be a strong one in this case.

In order to determine differences within the couple, they were then asked about their favorite parts of the marriage. While the husband and wife both agreed upon physical intimacy, the husband added elements such as having a wife to come home to and watching television with the children. For the wife, other elements included those such as watching the children learn and grow and conversations with the husband after he arrives home from work. It is apparent that while each appears to have a differing in this case, they are actually on the same page.

The couple interview served to show that remarkable differences between couples can exist even if they have been married for years (Gurman, 2008). In addition, disagreements are frequently settled by resorting to unanimously agreed upon states of denial. When a couple is faced with potential threats to marriage, they tend to find grounds on which they can put aside differences and disagreements in order to sustain and maintain their marriage. This is valid mostly in cases where the husband and the wife find a reason to stay together, such as the children in this case.