Legitimate Romantic Relationships

Romance is a wonderful union between people completely filled with joy, happiness, passion, desire, commitment, and love. Relationships are characterized as when two people put efforts to find connections between each other no matter what the complication or circumstance. The recent world is facing an evolvement from couples to polyamory relationships. Debates are being initiated to elaborate and understand the possibility of being in a legitimate love relationship with more than two people. According to the masses, a love relationship cannot include more than two committed people, preferably a link between husband and wife.

Love is very difficult to find in the world but it is worth holding onto. Before talking about relationships, we must come to an understanding to what love actually is. Love is an emotion experienced when our moods go high filled with happiness. It is affection that is created between two people when they start feeling attraction to one another not just with animal instincts, but with care, devotion, helpfulness, dedication, and commitment. It is intangible and different from person to person.

They key element that comes into question after defining the difficult task of love is defining relationship. Philosopher Aristotle classified relationships into three types pleasure, utility, and shared virtue. Relationship of pleasure is animal instincts and all about the mating process and fulfilling your desired needs. Relationship of utility refers to status, power and how much each person can inflate another persons ego. Relationship of shared virtue is about two people helping each other grow, feeling more connected and more love over time.  

When we start our argument on why a legitimate relationship cannot include more than two individuals, we must understand the logic and background behind this notion. The world recognizes that a relationship is about commitment, care, devotion and love that two people, preferably of the opposite sex, express, share and grow along with each other. Yes in todays ever developing society, we have gay and lesbian marriages, but majority still focus on different gender marriages. A legitimate relationship is a marriage between two people who are committed to each other by faith, honor, love, and are also legally married. A man and a woman who express mutual love for one another, enjoy each others time and want to and do share a life with each other is what ideally defines a romantic relationship.

The problem that is arising in this era is that people believe that freedom is better than actually being in so called love or in a committed relationship. I use these terms loosely because the notion of abusing yourself, mind, soul and body is considered a sin in a majority of religions. Wives and husbands both are wary of their closeness in proximity and true to connect on every level of their lives. The dilemma that rises is deception and adultery. In an increasing rate today, especially in Western societies, couples are breaking because of cheating having sex with someone else other than spouse. This arises when one or both of the people start to feel less attraction to one another and seem that moving on or cheating is the right way to satisfy their raw animal instinct. Another issue is financially, one of the couple is not being able to provide the needs necessary for a family taking care of bills such as expenses, health, food, shelter. This also leads to relationships falling apart. For a relationship to sustain in the long run, both members must not only love each other, but ensure they can keep each other happy, safe, and satisfied.

A key evolution of todays relationship is the having of several partners. The term polyamory refers to when a person is in love with many partners with honesty and integrity. McCullough and Hall elaborately explain what polyamory truly is. They defend it by saying that when relationships are closed knitted and ending, sex isnt the cause, the motive is betrayal and deceit. They also believe that when something the wife likes and the man who is in her life doesnt, she should be allowed to be with other men who have similar tastes but not be constricted by rigid rules of marriage. Freedom should exist and they also state that having multiple partners is not a bad thing since the more people you are with, the more (for the female at least) people there are to provide and take care of basic needs of survival.

The arguments that go against polyamory are our human natural state, religion (God), and the core beliefs behind polyamory. Firstly, as humans over time, we have been accustomed to being in couple relationships. A true ideal of a family is a father, a mother and children coexisting in a life together happily. This ideal is the main key area followed even today by majority of the Eastern societies and in comparison ratios of marriages to divorces in Asia are much lower as compared to America. Secondly, almost all religions reject the idea of being in love with many people and having sexual relations with them. God finds that having sex with more than one partner is sinful, and out right blasphemy. Not being able to withhold your animalistic desires of lust and trying to fulfill them with every person you see is outright in justice. Lastly polyamory core beliefs of accepting others in love of a relationship are outright unfair to all the partners. The original belief of commitment is what makes love special, divine and helps both partners grow together significantly.

Commitments, dedication, sacrifice these are the words usually associated with the words romance and relationship. Finding love on its own is a very difficult task and keeping it is even harder. Partners must be aware of each other closely and respect their personality. Usually there is chemistry, but sometimes that chemistry can be explosive and can result in large fights. Fights usually lead to deception, deceit, and adultery. Deception is seen in the form of lying, cheating, and sometimes stealing. Lying as in wife says to husband shes going to work and instead of working she goes to another mans house. Cheating then results when she starts sleeping with the other men. Finally stealing money from a joint bank accounts and spends it on other men. Same goes for men who do it more often than women.

Adultery arises when there is an affair between either the wife and other men or the husband and other women. This usually happens when in the relationship, partners drift apart. Adultery is illegal is some countries, but in the growing world today, it is becoming more acceptable. Partners in love are agreeing to orgies, threesomes, and watching someone else giving pleasure to there partner. Richard Wasserstrom developed two ideals for the bad habits of adultery. First being that it is the break of the promise of exclusiveness (sex). Secondly, he connects that the malpractice of adultery links itself to deception. When this occurs, a bond is broken between partners. A husband lying to his spouse and still having relations with other women is still considered adultery. Its very clear that in order for a relationship to be congruent, the husband and wife should both be committed, honest and fully love each other exclusively. Including outsiders just leads to chaos in the relationship, unfortunate complications, jealousy, and sometimes resulting in divorce or complete break ups.

According to Laurie, a common lady writer about romance, love involves three stages feelings, attraction, and emotions. Through feelings does a bond between couples ignites each others perspectives and helps them develop simultaneously. The raw magnetism of each others body, the sexual tension creating between each others bodies grows their sight on how much they want each other. Then attraction leads a developing relationship. Since both are so deeply in love, they both sacrifice time, energy and make extra efforts to be with one another. Dedication plays a big role in commitment and sacrifice leads to a higher level connection. The third aspect is emotions and how partners accept each others positive and negative attributes. This level is where they decide is there a future and how will they coexist if they chose too. This is ultimately a legitimate romantic relationship.

A relationship is a building block of life that involves trust, honesty, and lots of love. Loving your partner with the utmost faith is a great sign for a relationship. Including others in this union mostly results in a fiasco for both parties. Together, the couple can tackle, engage and cherish life merrily. Yes they can face difficult times, but if there love is really true, they can pull through it all and actually experience one of the heavenly aspects of life.


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